Get off my lawn – Week 2 Aftermath

September 23, 2020

The injury bug can suck it. 

He came, wiped out about a bajillion dudes, left like the little bitch he is. Both Michael and Brendan have already done a great job of covering the devastation, so I won’t go into it again, but I wanted to send him a virtual middle finger in my column since I lost two of my three matchups by a total of four points. 

Now that I have that off my chest, let’s get down to the usual lawn maintenance.

NFL coaches not wearing masks

Come on guys. I know that $250k is pocket change for you, but you need to wear them on the sidelines. Coaches need to set the example for their teams and for the public at large. The one that really caught my eye was Anthony Lynn of the Chargers. Lynn actually had contracted COVID this spring, so to see him with his mask not covering his nose caught my attention. 

Coaches that go into play calling turtle mode at the end of the game

I’m looking at you Dan Quinn. Your defense was leaking worse than the informercial guy who slaps tape on his boat and you decide to play conservative and hope that either Dallas will screw up or the clock will run out. I’ll also ping Anthony Lynn for punting on the plus side of the 50 in overtime. You have to be aggressive in the NFL and yet week in and week out when the chips are down coaches get shy. 

On a side note, I saw a Twitter post that said, “Why is it that always the coaches who preach toughness and physicality the most are the ones who will automatically punt on 4th-and-1?”

Denver signing Blake Bortles

First off, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. With all due apologies to Linda and Mrs. Jarvis, it’s never a good situation when Blake Bortles is considered a viable option at quarterback. There wasn’t ANYONE better out there? Did Colin Kaepernick move to Mars and no one told me? Even if he’s only going to back up Jeff Driskell, that’s just bad mojo.